1. The postpartum period is gross. Your once firm round belly transforms into a big marshmallow and those stretchmarks that were hidden from you underneath your belly suddenly become visible from above.
2. The baby sleeps A LOT the first night. You are so jacked up on adrenaline that you DO NOT. Your are fooled into thinking that this new baby is going to be easy because she's such a good sleeper. Which is such a tease because the baby stops sleeping at night the next day and you realize the days of normal sleep as you know it are gone. For a while.
3. The first bowel movement after you give birth is almost as scary as the birth itself.
4. Engorgement. When your milk first comes in and your body hasn't figured out how much milk your baby needs, it feels like you are going to explode. I swear, at one point my boobs were bigger than my baby's head.
5. Leaking. From every orifice. Gross.
6. The Heat, or lack there of. When you are pregnant, you have a little inferno in your belly. You can sleep naked without covers in December and it still feels hot. Once the baby is born, all of a sudden you have to put clothes on again. And turn up the heat.
7. You will go through a phenomenal amount of diapers. Seriously, I'd forgotten how many diapers a new baby uses. Our diaper genie was full after a day and we were running back to the store to buy more diapers after two. A very strong case for (or against; depending on how you see it) using cloth diapers. The worst is when you just finish changing the baby and she lets out a big wet fart; you can't let her sit in her poo but you know she is just going to pee again in 10 mins. What a waste.
8. Nursing bras are dowdy, unflattering and really unpleasant to wear.
9. Brussel Sprouts (and onions, garlic, broccoli, cabbage -- any gassy food) are BAD. Digestive systems are still developing and anything that causes extraneous gas will make your life a living hell. And at 2,3,4 in the morning (see #2) when your baby is retching and screaming at you, you will think twice before ingesting those lethal green vegetables again. I had forgotten this after Thanksgiving. Never again.
10. Newborns are really lovely.